Good Grief

I woke up this morning with Jake already awake, still laying beside me. First thing he said, "Happy Mother's Day Mom!" Use to, it would be Shane to say those words and then the kids would follow his lead. Molly was next to wake up and he instructed her to wish me the same. Sam did not need any reminders. They hopped up and downstairs they went. Jake came back up by himself and handed me a card. It read, Mom, it's a lot easier to be strong when I know I've got you to lean on. Opened it up and his little strong 10 year old voice said, "Happy Mother's Day Mom" and then it played, "Lean on Me." After I got over the emotion of that, I asked him where in the world he got it. He, with a huge grin, said Mrs. Whiteside got it for me and its been in my backpack. More emotion, just thinking that his teacher thought enough about him and me to go out and purchase a card. He was so proud and I was even prouder. He joined the other 2 downstairs and they were so busy. Each one came up with something. Jake brought up chocolate milk, Sam carried the plate of cinnamon toast and Molly delivered her and Sam's homemade mother's day card. Such a special morning. I have been recieving text all morning being wished sweet Mother's Day greetings from so many friends. My sister Robin sent one saying she knows that Heaven is all abuzz today with Shane telling everyone what a great Mom I am. More tears. This day is extremely important to me. I take my title as "Mom" very seriously. As long as I can remember, all I ever wanted to be is a wife and mom. I know that seems shallow to some, but that was my dream. I was extremely blessed to have a husband that agreed that he wanted the mother of his children home with them. We sacrificed so much in order to do this in the beginning. He never complained, never made me feel guilty about being home. He always complemented me on what a great job I was doing, even on the days he would come home and I would be in tears with a new baby in my arms. Every now and again, he would jokingly say, "I wish I had DeDe's life, she has it made." Honestly, I did. God had blessed me, and still blesses me without measure. Which leads me to mentioning the blessing God gave me 40+ years ago, my Mom. There are really no words to explain her, but sacrifice. To this day the woman sacrifices. She was blessed to be a stay-at-home mom also, which, I think, is why I felt so strongly about staying home with mine. My sisters and I always knew she was home waiting for us, we always knew we had a great supper to eat, and knew our every need was taken care of. She raised us with unending love. To this day, she is here when needed. One of her gifts is she can come in and know what needs to be done without asking. She never expects a thank-you, nor does she expect to be noticed for all she does. The last 2 weeks of Shane's life she was here while I spent my time with Shane. She helped with the kids, laundry, and any and everything that needed to be done. Everyday, Shane thanked her when she came up to tell him goodnight, and kissed him on the head. He often would say to me, "DeDe, you have got to do something for Mimi, she has done so much." I would tell her that and she would say, "You don't need to do anything." She did the same when each of my babies were born. She came for 2 weeks during the day to run the household while I concentrated on the baby and resting. Shane would jokingly say, "Time for another baby, so Mimi can come cook for us for 2 weeks, and I can have my underwear folded (I don't fold undies, just put 'em in the drawer) and put away." Mimi, all that you do never goes unnoticed. You are appreciated, you are loved and admired for your tireless energy, for never complaining for all that you do. Shane loved you, I love you and my babies love you. Happy Mother's Day I thank God for you.

Now, on to Shane's mom, or as Shane so affectionately nicknamed her, Pooh. My heart aches for her today. I can't imagine what it feels like to outlive your child. She waited a long time to have Shane and when she was blessed with that baby, she was blessed. She has told me time and again, that Shane as a child was near "perfect." Somehow, I don't have a hard time believing that. Seeing how he was near "perfect" as a husband and father. I have to attribute his near perfectness to the way he was raised. I don't know how they did it, but they did. She raised a son that was compassionate, caring, giving, affectionate and loving. I love to hear her stories about Shane growing up, the mischief he got into and how they would deal with it. One of my favorites is when Shane was misbehaving and his mom told him if he didn't do what she said that he would not play in a very important baseball game. He proceeded to do what he was asked not to do and he DID NOT play in the game. Even after the coach asked her to please let him play. She stuck to her guns and disciplined him. This is also the mom that when asked by her son to do a favor she did it. Fifteen years ago, Shane decided he wanted to ask me to marry him. It was a decision that was made on a Friday night, unfortunately he had a baseball game on Saturday against Shorter. Pooh went to jewelry stores and persuaded the jewelers (she is quite persuasive) to let her take about 4-6 rings with her for Shane to pick out. She went to the game, he came out of the dugout and picked my ring. Shane loved his mom, and I knew he would be a great husband just by the way he treated and loved her. I thank you Pooh, for raising Shane just the way you raised him. Yes, he was near perfect. I think that is why God wanted him home, he couldn't stand to be apart from him a minute longer. Thank you for loving J,S,M and me. I ask God to show you His presence and comfort you this Mother's day without Shane. I love you and thank you for Shane.

To my sisters, Robin and Tracey. We all may mother differently but I think we all mother greatly. I love you and I thank God for you and your dynamic self. I am glad we were all blessed to have such a great example of what a mother should be. I love you both and Happy Mother's Day.

To my all my friends that are mom's. Thank God today for the priviledge of being just that... a mom. Thank Him for entrusting you with His children. It's a big role to take on but I think all of us are doing a fabulous job.

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. Proverbs 31:28-31