Good Grief

Good Grief

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Details Details Details

de·tail  (d-tl, dtl)
1. An individual part or item; a particular. See Synonyms at item.
2. Particulars considered individually and in relation to a whole: careful attention to detail.
3. A minor or an inconsequential item or aspect; a minutia: skipped the details to get to the main point.
4. A minute or thorough treatment or account: went into detail about his travels.
a. A discrete part or portion of a work, such as a painting, building, or decorative object, especially when considered in isolation.
b. A representation of such a part or portion: a detail of a Rembrandt portrait illustrating the technique of chiaroscuro.
a. A small elaborated element of a work of art, craft, or design.
b. Such elements considered together: the intricate detail of a rococo altarpiece.
c. The rendering of artistic detail: the fine detail of the painter's brushwork.
a. The selection of one or more troops for a particular duty, usually a fatigue duty.
b. The personnel so selected.
c. The duty assigned: garbage detail.
tr.v. (d-tl) de·tailed, de·tail·ing, de·tails
1. To report or relate minutely or in particulars.
2. To name or state explicitly: detailed the charges against the defendant.
3. To provide with artistic or decorative detail: detailed the quilt with colorful appliqué.
4. To select and dispatch for a particular duty.
5. To clean (a car interior, for example) meticulously.
in detail
With attention to particulars; thoroughly or meticulously: explained her proposal in detail.

It has been brought to my attention, by no one other than myself, that I love details.  No, I'm not the detail oriented OCD type that has all of my life organized down to every detail.  Couldn't be farther from the truth. I do however, find myself needing details of peoples lives, especially those closest to me.  At 4 am this morning when I woke up with this on my mind I thought about how different men and women/ boys & girls are so different when it comes to details.  When I think about daily conversations with the kids I can so see the difference.  Here is a small example of my afternoon conversations with my 3:

Me:  Hey Jake, how was your day?
J: good.
Me: anything good or exciting happen?
J: no. (answers while reaching over to drown me out with the volume button on the radio)

Me: Sam, what about you, was your day good?
Sam: Yep.
Me: how did you do on your test?
Sam: Good.

Me: Molly how was your day?
M: Oh, mom, it was so good, we got to play outside a long time, we finger painted today, we read a Fancy Nancy book, Ava had her leopard skin flip flops on like mine, Mary Burke was out sick today. I didn't eat all my spaghetti-o's today, so when I get home I need a snack.

AHHH, someone that will give me a few details.  M completely understands how  details make me feel connected to her and her day, and the boys, well they are like their DD (deceased dad), they leave out the details that leaves me wanting, needing more.  I don't know anymore than I did before they got in my car.  Which leads me to wonder what happened, was it something bad that they don't want me to know or just don't want to talk about it. Or is it the fact that they don't see the big deal with details.  So I will stubbornly keep asking questions, trying to be as open ended as I possibly can, in order to feel like I'm a part of their lives.  Luckily, my girlfriends, are more of the same as me.  They never leave out the minor details.  While I've been able to enjoy some much needed "girl" time at the pool it never ceases to amaze me at how "detailed" our conversations can get.  We are so detailed sometimes its downright scary.  I feel like sometimes I give so many "details" I'm a little transparent.  I hope that my friends appreciate that I trust them in this way and they see that my "detail" sharing is based on trust, love and frankly, I want them to feel as if they can be as "detailed" with me as I am them.

Another example of men, women and "details" being on opposite ends of the spectrum--Flyboy is now a pilot with a commercial airline.  He is flying from west to east coast and everywhere in between.While he is very open and "detailed" about his schedules, etc., he does, however, fail to give me the minor "details" that I know he thinks nothing about.  I know he would tell me if he thought it was pertinent, but he fails to see my desire to know every. little. detail. of his flights, his layovers, his meals.  He's a man, and I'm a woman with a crazy desire for "details." Is this his fault?  No. Mine? no.  But I have to wonder-if it were me flying here, there and yonder, would he have the desire for "details."  I have to think the answer would be a resounding "no."  Which in turn, would make me wonder if he just didn't care.  Same with the boys, it makes me wonder often if they even care what kind of day I've had, for they never ask about the "details" of my day.

All this "details" about "details" has led me to think about how God cares about the "details" of our lives.  While we can't audibly hear Him ask about the details of our days, I know He wants to know.  I, like the above mentioned males, only seem to scrape the surface of my life when it comes to telling God about my days and life.  Yes, I know that my Father already knows every single detail about my life, I know that He would certainly enjoy and desires me taking the opportunity to thank Him, and ask Him for guidance in ALL the "details" of my life,  not just the ones I think He wants to hear about-but the good, the bad and the ugly. He cares so much that He wants me to be as detailed with him as I am at the pool with my girlfriends. My prayer is that I may be as candid with my Father that knows my innermost being, as I want my own children to be as candid with me.  I know He will never judge me as I hope that I never would my 3 when they decide to share the "details" of their lives with me.