Fun and Fellowship

Woke up this morning wondering if God heard our prayers about holding off on the rain. Jake has been a weather watcher for as long as I can remember and while turning the weather on he said, "Mom, I prayed real hard that God would not let it rain today." The local on the 8's came on and he said, "He must have heard me its only a 20% chance now." In my sarcastic thoughts I thought Well, He did answer one of our prayers. I know, I know, but its that part of the grieving process called ANGER. I have these thoughts and know its Satan then I get back on track. The boys were ecstatic about the golf tournament along with me. I couldn't wait to be out on the golf course that Shane loved so much. He didn't get to play golf as much as he would like to, but when he did play he enjoyed it immensely. Not sure if it was because of the actual game of golf or the camaraderie with whomever he was playing with. He took the boys on occasion, not near the times he would have liked but enough to show them the ropes and enough for them to have a liking to the game.

I was amazed at the turnout of participants. We drove up and Jake asked if they were all here for his dad, I told him yes and he said that lots of them were strangers. Then to see so many people volunteering their time to pull this off. This was the inaugural tournament but seemed like it had been around for a long time. Everything was so smooth and planned out. It did my heart good to see the people that came out either to work or play. A few told me that they had a great time sharing stories about Shane and really enjoyed themselves. It was a good day, watching the boys play golf with Shane's dad and brother, as an entourage followed behind. There was at one time about 6 carts following the team they were playing on. I enjoyed the beauty of the course, the feeling that Shane was there and the memories that we had there. I kept it together until I went to the little girls room and walked through the golf shop seeing the shirts that Shane would proudly purchase and come home with, the Grill where I would meet him for lunch and the door to the men's locker room. I cried for the days that we will not have there again, the times we had there and the times the kids will not have with their dad there. I enjoyed the day in spite of the heartache. This morning I was getting the video camera ready and was looking back at some past footage. I came across one that was taken in early February of this year. I was filming Molly being Molly and Shane was in the background talking to my dad and mom. I didn't get the gest of the conversation but did hear him say, "Well, it all goes back to Corinthians 13:13(cough, cough, cough {stupid cancer}.) I was enjoying hearing his voice and got lost in just hearing it, and didn't listen, really, to what the rest of the conversation was. The reason for me telling this is that all day, Corinthians 13:13 has been ringing in my ear. I am not one that feels that God ever gives me a word so didn't think much of it. It was just odd that I kept hearing Shane say it over and over again. I'm not great at remembering scripture, I do good to remember my name, and didn't have a bible around so just pushed it aside. Until, we were driving to Sam's practice, and now that I am using Shane's phone I have an app of the Bible, so I told my sister to please look up Corinthians 13;13, she did and this is the verse: And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. Corinthians 13:13 This was the topic of his last sermon, so when I heard Trace read it I had an aha moment. In God's way and Shane's way I truly believe that both were telling me and reminding me that they love me. Shane and I had this exact verse read at our wedding, 14 years ago tomorrow. I'm thinking God for the way He continually reminds me that He loves me and that Shane does too. I love them too!!