Amazing Love-Continued

Today is the 30th and the overwhelming dread hovers over me.  I try an make things as normal as possible for me and the kids but just knowing what faces us is hard.  I spoke with a sweet friend this morning at Bible study that has lost both her mom and dad and we were talking of the "death" anniversary.  She told me that she has found that the anxiety and dread before the actual date is worse than the actual "day" itself.  I completely get that.  After bible study I was able to have lunch with a dear dear friend that was a tremendous encourager, helper this time last year. I enjoyed our time together and her insight on the whole matter.  While there I spotted a sweet acquintance, that unfortunately, lost her husband yesterday of last year.  I had to get my arms around her.  Bless her, she had her tray in one hand, bag in the other and I pretty much tackled her.  She doesn't know me that well, or my enthusiasm so she probably thinks I am a freak of some kind, it was just really good to see her. I have had her on my heart so much these past few days.  Even the memory of receiving that news this time last year puts me right back.  Funny how God had us at the same place, same time today.
Please pray for her.
Anyway, I know I am suppose to finish what I started so here goes. 

I ended Monday with the statement about all of "this" being a love story between a man, a woman and their Heavenly Father that loved them.  Please let me clarify what I mean. I knew what I wanted to say on Monday but so glad I didn't finish because today while having lunch with "D" I realized exactly what I meant about it being a love story.  In talking with her about what is going on in my head and heart I, again, said "Why this happened, I don't know."  She quickly answered, "I know why, because look where you are now."  I have said all along that Shane taught me how to really love through our relationship. I can't even put into words how much I love that man, probably more now, than this time last year. I could write forever on how much.   However, the greatest thing he ever gave me and taught me was how to really love GOD.  What is more precious than that?  What can a husband give his wife any better than that???? There is nothing in this world that I would ever trade for that.  Even better still, he gave my children that same gift.  Albiet it will be up to God to write out their testimonies, but Shane showed them how to really love Christ.  Could he have done this for the children and I here, in the flesh??  Of course he could have!  Would we have received it as intended? Probably not.  What we were able to witness was what true FAITH, HOPE and LOVE in Christ is really all about.  This whole love story was written out by the same God that created Heaven and Earth, that placed each star in the sky, the same God that has my name, Jake, Sam & Molly's name written in the palm of His hand, He wrote the scenes of this love story before I was even placed in my mother's womb.  He knew that Shane would endure this, did he endure it for me and the children and many others?  I believe with my whole heart and soul that he did and would do it over again if asked.  The best part of this love story is the love that our Heavenly Father has for us.  The same peace that covered and surrounded me this time last year, I am experiencing again at this very moment. Things may be different for me come Sunday, but He is the same God as He was this time last year and I have confident faith that His presence is here just as It was last year.  I find comfort knowing He has taken care of us and He won't forget us now.  His love never changes or waivers due to circumstances, He loves me the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow.  If I could edit the story I probably would just so I could continue my life on with Shane as I would have written it, but this is not my story, its Gods, and I have full confidence in knowing He is a better writer than me.  I am just thankful for the chapters I was able to share with Shane and all that I learned, I look forward with anticipation when I get to the last page and see The End so I can place this book on the shelf and open up a new one that's entitled  "Welcome HOME!!"

And now these three remain...Faith, Hope and Love, but the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13