Camping Out

As I clean up from our Friday Family Fun Night I realize here again its ANOTHER holiday to get through this weekend.  Last night we continued a Friday night tradition in the Richardson household.  For many many years the boys (Shane, Jake and Sam) would "camp out" on the weekends and for holidays.  By camping out I mean, we blow up the air mattress (on about the 10th one due to lots of jumping and a few cat claws) and set it up in the family room.  . Knowing this is a holiday weekend the boys would have been ecstatic to know Dad didn't have to work on Monday, so it would be a 3 night camp out weekend.  Whoopee!! Molly and I were not usually allowed, it was a guy thing.  Since Shane left, the boys have allowed us to join them for a few camp outs.  Actually, this was where the boys were sleeping when Shane met Jesus that early morning.  This mattress is the mattress that I crawled into and snuggled with my boys to tell them about Shane's run to Jesus. Where they cried over their daddy not being with us.  Where Molly's first of many, "My daddy died" statements came out. Same mattress where Sweet Sam told me that morning that he "wondered what the 2 bright white lights were he saw, and now he knew, it was the angel's coming to get daddyo."  Thankful God gave each of us our own comfort that early morning.  The boys shared lots of football, basketball, baseball, Whose Line is it Anyway, Tour de France recaps while camping out with Shane.  Some of the most profound conversations with the boys happened while camping out. The place where Jake shared with his dad that he had asked Jesus into his heart.  Where Shane asked his oldest what that really meant to him. The boys even camped out while Shane was hurling from chemo, even on his worst days, this was his highlight, to spend time with them, just them. He could no longer set the mattress up, that turned into my job, and I don't think I ever did it to his expectations. He had fixing the sheets, pillows, down to a science.  Jake can do it just like his daddy, me, not so much.    He's spot was right in the middle, with each boy laying on each arm, while he twiddled with their hair until sleepiness took over them.  He would share with me how he would watch them sleep, and just enjoy their sweet little stinky boys breath on his face all night.  Some occasions he would get uncomfortable and sneak upstairs only to have Jake and Sam feel his absence and they would head upstairs right behind him, usually while sleepwalking.  It wasn't till the very end that Shane's pain, and uncomfortableness didn't allow many camp outs. Jake requested a camp out last night so I obliged.  We ordered Papa John's (Shane's fav), finally watched Blindside, blew up the mattress and camped out.  It was, of course, bittersweet, Jake was awake last night at 12 and said, "Well Mom, it's been 3 months, at 3am it will be 3 months since Daddy left."   Yep, it has been 3 months, 12 weeks, 84 days, 2,016 hours, but seems like yesterday. Glad the boys wants to continue on with things that did with their daddy with me and Molly.  Glad that we are able to keep these sweet memories alive.  Asking for prayers to get us through the 4th, one of Shane's and our favorite family holidays.  Knowing fireworks won't be the same, or the homemade ice cream.  But so thankful to God that we have the freedom to celebrate.  Celebrate the freedom to worship Him the way we want to.  Freedom to speak about Him openly, and love Him in public.  Even though all of this is so hard without Shane, knowing life continues on for me and the children, just like Shane would have wanted it too. Knowing he would want us to celebrate all of these freedoms as usual, even without him.  **Happy 4th Everyone**