Sweet Molls

Grow in the grace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  Get to know Him better.  Give Him glory both now and forever.  Amen." (2 Peter 3:18, NIrV)

It was 4 years ago that one of my 3 sweet blessings was born.  A few months earlier I remember waking up at 3am sneaking into the bathroom and taking a pregnancy test.  As I sat and waited and wondered everything was going through my mind.  As I slowly watched it turn to positive I remember saying to God before waking Shane, "Really?  What in the world? I can hardly handle the 2 I have."  I woke Shane up, carried him to the bathroom and showed him the stick.  He was ecstatic (even at 3am), I was crying for whatever reason.  I was scared of having 3 kids.  Don't get me wrong I had always wanted 3, I feel 3's a charm, seeing how I am a 3rd.  Later we were excited to find out that it was a girl.  Shane was finally going to have a "daddy's girl."  She decided to come early.  We called our doctor friend on a Sunday morning and told him what was transpiring, he told us to head to the hospital.  Got there and things started moving rather quickly.  We did all the necessary things and then Dr. Ray came in and told us he was going to break my water.  He did just that and little Miss Molly didn't like it one bit.  Her heart rate slowed to an alarming rate.  It was a scary situation and Ray told me that we needed to do an emergency C-section.  NOT what I wanted to hear.  I had delivered 2 boys and I was terrified of a c-section.  They wheeled me to the OR and started prepping me.  I remember looking into the light and asking God to please help me, help my baby and please let every thing be ok.  The nurses told Shane to take my earrings out, bless him he was so nervous and so cute in his cap and OR attire.  I could feel his hands shaking and he could barely get my earrings out.  He was with me every step of the way, trying to be encouraging and seeing how much he loved me every time he looked at me. All the sudden the monitor that was attached to Molly started beating a little faster.  Ray asked if I heard that and about the same time I told him I needed to push.  Needless to say, Miss Molly decided she didn't want to come into this world via c-section.  Shane was whispering encouraging words for the 2 short pushes.  She was delivered in the OR.  The significant difference in her delivery and Jake and Sam's was the fact that I was not the first to hold her...her daddy was.  Since we were in the OR and it was cold and she had been in a little distress they took her immediately to the warmer to assess her.  Shane followed over and they handed that sweet little girl to her sweet daddy.  He immediately brought her over and I could tell he was totally in love with her.  Nothing changed.  He adored her, he did the boys, but there was just something different about a daddy and a little girl.   I have so often thought back to that morning when I found out I was pregnant with her and asked God what he was thinking...now I do.  For the past 4 years sweet Molls has been nothing but pure joy.  I almost enrolled her in preschool last year and something told me not to.  I truly think God nudged me to keep her home for she was such a distraction and joy to have her with Shane and I during his sickness.  She would sweetly rub her daddy's back when he was so ill, she would curl up with him on the couch and he would sweetly watch hours on end of Sprout, just to be with her.  She never minded curling up with him on his worst days and never minded sleeping right with him when he was in need of oxygen.  I remember this time last year on days he was too preoccupied to work when we were trying to get a diagnosis he would spend so much time with her when she would sweetly say, "Daddy, can you swing me."  He always obliged because he loved her and wanted to spend time with her.  His fear at the end would be that she would have no memories of him.  God has taken care of that.  He has allowed her sweet mind to remember things that I don't even recall about her daddy.  She remembers him teasing her, holding her and most importantly loving her.  I know God orchestrated her conception, He knew what was ahead and knew I would need her to sweetly remind me about "balance," to sweetly wipe my tears away time and time again, and sweetly tell me, "Momma, everything is going to be alright."  She's been a rock to me even at 3 years old.  So today, on your 4th Birthday I thank God for you, I thank Him for knowing that I would need you when I was scared to have a 3rd child.  I thank Him for the 3 years you had with your daddy.  I thank Him for allowing Shane to know what it was like to have a sweet sweet tiny female voice say, "Hold you daddy and I love you."  I thank God for allowing your Daddy's memory to be so vivid in your little mind.  I am sorry that he will not be with you in the flesh for the rest of your life but know that he is ALWAYS with you and watching over you.  I am sorry that your birthday is marked as the day that daddy found that stinking disease in his lung.  Please know that the date of your birth will always be celebrated and I thank you that we have you to celebrate on October 29th so that we don't have to dwell on this day as a day of bad news.  I love you Molly D, and I thank God for you and know your daddy is so very proud of you.  I always want you to remember how much your daddy loved you.  Happy Birthday Lil' Curl, hope your day and life is blessed beyond measure. 
Love Momma & always in our hearts DaddyO