Jeremiah 29:11

'I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’" Jeremiah 29:11  I know all of you have heard this verse over and over.  Frankly, when Shane was sick and then passed when people would throw this verse out to me I heard mostly-"yadayadayada" and my thoughts were something like-yeah whatever, how can the sickness and death of my husband prosper and not harm me and my children.  Honestly, I still struggle with this verse and still struggle with how Shane's death is a good thing for me and my family.  However, this verse popped up as my email scripture yesterday in just the right time.  I received some news that was not so good yesterday concerning some personal stuff (not health related just personal yuck.)  I received it on my way to my bible study, ironically.  Handled it at first, then when I saw my sister-lost it with her, (God has a way of putting people at the right place at the right time) before going in and it carried over into the study.  Our study leader always prays before we start and always has some awesome music to get our hearts and minds ready to study His Word.  During the song, I had to excuse myself and head to the restroom before I was a bawling mess.  I was not far so I could hear the music.  I spoke to God about the circumstances and asked Him to show up.  For some reason on this particular day 2 songs played before we studied when usually only one plays.  The second song was just instrumental but it has been my "song" to push through my circumstances.  "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" played throughout the house and through the door of the restroom.  I knew instantly that God sent that song for me, for it to permeate my being to know that no matter what the circumstance is, He is there.  My sister came in to check on me and gave me a much needed hug and told me she wished she could take it all away and asked God to take this all away.  Then a dear dear sister in Christ came in and squatted before me and said, "Do you hear what song is playing?" She also commented that the song was straight from God and from Shane.  She recited," Turn your eyes upong Jesus, look full in His wonderful face and the things of earth will grow strangely dim..."  This sweet sister remembered that while at the womens conference I spoke at in July I stated this was my "song."  Then another friend reminded me after the study to dwell on the things that God HAS done for me and not on the bad stuff and all the bad stuff would not seem so big.  She was right.  Yesterday, I reminded myself of how the Holy Spirit has been all over me for the past year and how I have seen huge things from God and tiny things from Him.  Yep, I still struggle with His plans for me, but in the grand scheme of things I know He has my back.  I know all of this "stuff" is happening for a reason and that whatever happens He is with me.  I was reminded yesterday that sometimes God allows many things to happen at one time in order for me to totally surrender to Him.  Yes, when bad things happen, one at a time, we can probably handle them, but when many bad things happen all at once, we will tend to surrender to Him, because it is too big for us.  So today, I surrender it all...all of the questions, the circumstances and the fear to the One that can handle it when it is much too big for me.  I know His plans will prosper me and not harm me I just have to be patient and dicerning to recognize those plans.  If I could ask for you to pray that I can surrender it "all" to Him because I truly can't handle it without Him.  Thanks to all that continually pray for me and my family.  Thanks to those that bless us with kindness. Thanks be to God for ALL the things He has done and will do.  Amen.