Why?

For some reason a theme has been rolling around in my head for days. Not sure where it came from, where I'm going with it but it's been rolling around enough to disturb me.

Then tonight I get a call, a text, another call. Not saying I'm prophetic my no means. I truly think it's coincidental, either way I'm crying myself to sleep tonight with again, a broken, wondering heart. 

Just when you think life is pretty sucky  you're reminded that there is always someone going through far worse. When you think life handed you lemons there's always someone that's been handed more. I've been reminding myself this when pity parties flare up even now. There's always someone somewhere that's struggling a bit more, hurting a more, heart wide open broken when yours seems on the mend.

Tonight. Tonight I find out that my deceased friends children literally became orphans tonight. Why?? First their mom and now...and now their dad. Why?

Yes they've lived a good life since mom left to be with Jesus. Thankfully a grandmother stepped into those hard shoes to be filled by anyone and carried on life. They may not have been with their daddy everyday, but he was in their life. He was still their daddy. But now...

My heart is broken on so many levels tonight. Reminder to all of us that are single by death how easy our children can be left as orphans as well. How in a seconds notice children that have already endured too much must re-live this hurt again. Why? 

Father God-tonight I pray for all of us asking why. I pray for 2 children's hearts that are assuredly asking why as well. Father, remind us that You see them. Remind us that You are not the author of confusion not fear. Remind us Father that you are good. Father remind these children that they are loved by a grandmother so much that she gave her life up to raise them once her own child was gone and will continue to do so. Father, help me and many others feeling the same thing tonight of the verse I just posted---a Father to the fatherless. Dear God please let them feel your love, your arms around them tonight. Be with those that have lost a son today. A husband. Father God provide comfort and peace for these kids and for even my own heart tonight. Even for my children tonight. I have to thank you for reminding me to never get too comfortable with life, how easy things can change. Hear my prayer for these children Father God. Please give them peace. This feeling I have Father use it to change me, to help me mother well, to be who I need to be more intentionally. If there's rainbows as reminders that their mom is looking down and if there's a way you can show them you see them in the next day's God...please show these children its brilliance and brightness. Help us pray for them and love them through. In Jesus Name. Amen. 

And there's always someone somewhere in a worse place than even us. Broken. Questioning and can't even fathom why?