Dancing with my Daddy

Guest blogger-The possible thoughts of Miss Molly Richardson-age 6

My mom just received a text message that the deadline for tickets to the Daddy Daughter dance was this Thursday. Oh how I'd love to dress up and go...with my daddy. I was asked to go last year by my daddy's best friend and his daughter. It was fun, except for the whole tornado thing and the fact that I felt like every one there probably noticed that I was there with someone else's daddy. I have a few questions about the whole Daddy Daughter dance fad. First, kinda stinks that this event became REALLY popular about the time that my daddy went home. My mom says that they NEVER had anything like this when she was little. I hear my mom talking about how she doesn't like them. I know she's really happy for all the little/big girls that get to go with their daddy's. I hear her say she wished they had these dances when she was growing up and how it's good for daddy's to have special time with their little girls. I hear her say my daddy would have LOVED getting dressed up  to take me to dinner and to dance the night away. She tells me how daddy would have been the first one to electric slide, Cupid shuffle at the dance. I hear her say how he would have had more fun than any daddy there. I also hear her say it stinks that there are some little girls, like me, that aren't privileged enough to have a daddy here, available to take their little girls to a dance just for daddy's and daughters. I've heard her say how she knows its good for daughters and daddy's need that time but it just seems to draw attention to the little girls that are unlucky, to not have a daddy. No matter if its death, divorce, or just an absent dad-it stinks for those. While its sweet when I have offers to go with other men in my life, there's just not a replacement for my daddy. I hope that these little girls that are getting to have a date with their daddy's know how lucky they are. Hope they never take a second for granted. Hope they always appreciate when their dads are at their dance recitals, ballgames, appreciate when their dad gets to kiss them and tuck them into bed. Hope they always appreciate when they want their daddy to push them in a swing -he is there to do just that. Hope they appreciate when it's time to take the walk down a long aisle to meet their soon-to-be husband that its their daddy that is holding their arm. Saying all this so that you can remind your daughters to appreciate their dads. I still know I'm a very blessed little girl--I had an awesome, love filled 3 years with my daddy. I am blessed because God gave me a wonderful ability to remember things about my daddy. I can remember how he would swing me for a long time, how he would put me on his shoulders facing him and dance with me then flip me backwards. I remember him being sick and being home with me and watching Snow White over and over and he never complained. I remember his nickname for me-lil curl. I remember how he loved me like a daddy should love his baby girl. My mom tells me how many times he covered me with kisses.

Just the other day on the way home from school, after a few dads eating lunch with friends, I said to mom, "I sure miss having a daddy." My mom, in  her wise way, reminded me that I do have a daddy---he is just lucky to be LIVING in heaven. She also told me that I have a Father in Heaven that loves me more than any daddy on earth ever could. So while I'm very thankful for all the men in my life that fill in for my daddy-I take the most comfort in knowing my Father has a special love for those that are fatherless. I am happy knowing that not only will i have endless daddy/daughter dances one day in heaven, I will be able to one day dance for and with my Father that loves me more than any daddy can. So for this year I have chosen to sit this dance out and hang out with my big bros instead. Got a feeling my mom will dance with me at home...she's a better dancer than dad anyway:) Daughters--enjoy your daddy's-dont take a single second for granted.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=related&v=NHOPK9thphc

"Something"

Through my growth as a Chriatian I've often asked why I just never had the gift of dicernment. I would often feel frustrated when I would hear someone say the Lord will tell you what to do, or when I would hear someone say I waited for the Lord to guide me. I've often said I wished that I had lived in Old Testament times so that God would appear to me or I could hear His audible voice, give me burning bushes, clouds, etc. so that I would know, without a doubt, what He was leading me to do. Unfortunately, when seeking guidance from Him-I'm left wondering if He is guiding me or is it me. I'm left wondering if that 'still small voice' is really Him or is it what I think I want to hear. I've always been a little, what some would call-"wishy washy" in my decision making. One minute I've made a decision and the next I change my mind. I've realized that when seeking God I tend to be the same way. One moment I feel very sure what He is guiding me to do and then the  enemy makes me question if it's right. In my growth I am learning to wait---wait on the Lord. I've learned to stand still, and wait on the Lord (Ps37:7). It's not easy, never easy being still or waiting. Patience isn't my strong suit. I'm also learning that He supplies peace during the waiting Isaiah 26:3. When I want to hurry up and act I've learned to feel His strong hand on my shoulder, holding me back. And when I grow tired of waiting on Him and a direction or an answer He gives me strength to continue to wait on Him Isaiah 40:28-31. Through this same journey I am currently learning to listen. I was explaining to a friend how I knew a certain situation just wasn't right, that something was telling me to watch out. I was telling her this and she started laughing and said, "Girl, you know what that something is." she went on to tell me about a guest her church had hosted. A "comedian" that was talking about the names of God. How he said there was another name for God---SOMETHING. He explained how people will say-something was telling me not to do that. Well, that SOMETHING is God. I've come  to realize and be thankful for SOMETHiNG. Call it gut instinct, intuition, SOMEThiNG, whatever--but I will call it answers from my Father. I'm thankful that I'm growing enough in my Christian walk to recognize the something's, for what they really are. He may not be audible or burning bushes for me-but He is guiding my ways, protecting me, giving me dicerement, those same gifts that use to frustrate me when I would hear others speak of them. It wasn't that He wasn't giving me discernment-it was that I was choosing not to be still and know Him and listen.  I was acting and relying on me-now I've learned to wait on Him. Yes  there will still be times that i rely on me more than Him, that i wont be still and wont listen-but there will always be that SOMETHING, my sweet Holy Spirit, that reminds me, teaches me to wait, listen & seek. Again, and again He makes things crystal clear. I'm thankful that this time it seems He wrote things out on the wall that decisions I've made are the right ones.  His promptings, guidance and answers may not be easy or what i want but He knows whats best-so i will just trust and abide in His love for me. Now ain't that SOmETHinG?!?!

Piece by piece

Can't believe it's Thanksgiving already. Definitely one of my most favorite holidays. Minus the stress of Christmas, I get lots of no rushed time with family, good food and money doesn't have to leave my pocket. This year is no different----except the flu has hit our family. My dad was diagnosed yesterday, Miss M started running a temp today-so all the festivities are iffy. Not the first time Thanksgiving has been questionable---remembering 3 years ago. Shane & I were spending the night in the hospital after a lung biopsy, chest tube removal and a very heavy diagnosis. Things were bleak. I remember praying that we could just be home for Thanksgiving-we came home the day before. Shane's last Thanksgiving was spent at home in pain, in question, he did have his sweet bro-in-laws passing the time with him and we had Thanksgiving dinner delivered to us. Not the best, but we were together,& kids were happy with Mimi, Poppee, aunts & cousins. I remember wishing the day away, wishing many days away. Why is it that when we are in the middle of something we are constantly seeking a way out?  Why is it we fail to relish  where we are when we are in it? Why didn't I soak up everything about that Thanksgiving day 3 years ago? No, had no idea it would be our last together, as a family, but why didn't I appreciate every second? I can't remember our conversations, the weather, what I was thankful for at the time. Makes me want to start absorbing every second of every day-good or bad. Whether I am home with sick kids, or if I'm sick, on this Thanksgiving day I want to soak it all in and every day after. I want to make sure I write down and store away in my heart all the simple things, the big things, the smells, the weather. I want to remember years from now that me and my 3 watched the sweetest movie *tonight. One about faith, Gods plan for our lives even when our lives are not perfect. I want to remember the tears I cried at some of the most touching words that were said. How we laughed together watching. I want to remember how the kids have continually brought up the fact that their daddy's birthday is tomorrow, how they remember how old he would be, how we did and would celebrate. I want to relish the fact that one of the gifts Shane gave my 3 was the fact that while most kids their age are really afraid to talk about end times and their potential deaths-that mine look forward to it in a non-creepy kind of way, but a sweet faithful way. J and I were talking about the happenings in Israel and he grinned and said,"good, means I get to meet Jesus sooner than I thought and I get to see daddy again." During the same conversation Sam said,"I'm a little afraid to die but I'm excited to meet God and see daddy." These are the conversations I want to absorb, store away for later times. I want to absorb their laughter, their smiles, their smells. I wish I had known then what I know now before Shane passed-I would have paid more attention, soaked more in. Lesson learned---don't take one second for granted. While watching the movie tonight the narrator said  something so poignant that I had to rewind and listen again...

"when someone you love dies, you don't lose them all at once, you lose them in pieces..."  Joe from Simon Birch.

 It's true. Slowly, over time, their smell disappears, the smells that you once took for granted, their habits, their coughs, sneezes--little things. You have to  really think about their laugh, their smile. Slowly, piece by piece, you lose them with each day that passes. Normal process, hurtful, but not as painful as losing them all at once. I've recognized, however, that piece by piece becomes a little bit easier with time as well along with pain. Thankful that God gave me pieces to hang on to and the strength to deal with the ones that slowly disappear. I really have to recollect the pain of that Thanksgiving day 3 years ago. The pain may never cease but the pain becomes less.

Tomorrow-Shane's 41st earthly birthday will be spent remembering him and all the pieces that we haven't lost yet. This Thanksgiving, flu, no flu, with or without turkey & dressing, I plan on relishing every second with the ones I love, being thankful for all the good and bad in life-knowing that, like Simon Birch said in the movie tonight and how Gods word promises-its all in His plan, even in November-3 years later.

Happiest of Birthdays Shaner-still miss you- 3 years later.



Happiest of Thanksgivings to all-soak it all in- piece by piece- and I'm not talking about your meal!


*Simon Birch

Captured

I had the sweet pleasure to meet Karen Rainwater of Captured Phoography this past Sunday. It was way past time to have some family photos made of just the 4 of us and I loved some of her work she had photographed of several friends so gave her a call. She's from out of town but familiar with Rome we met downtown to take the photos. When I got out of the car I started explaining that if she saw tears it was because this was our first photos of just the 4 of us---she started shaking her head in agreement and said, "Shane...I prayed for him." Stopped me cold for a second and she proceeded to tell me that her cousin Christa, shared our story . Also, some of our good friends had their family photos made around the time Shane became ill or right after and they shared our story with her as well.

I couldn't have hand picked a better photographer for this "first." The kids had an instant connection with her, her oldest daughter was with her and she was precious, (Karen)she was so fun and she, like her company name states, CAPTURED my 3's personalities, and some awfully sweet moments. At one time we were sitting on the steps of Molly's pre-school/my workplace, she closed her eyes and said, " I'm picturing something." She asked us to look off in the distance and not smile. I knew exactly what she was doing-she was capturing us thinking about the one that was missing from our family. If I hadn't known I would have quickly gotten a clue-because she teared up. She was amazing-in just a short 45min to an hour-she knew us, she knew our hurts and our triumphs. So glad I chose her for this first. Then later that night I received this message from her....(hope you don't mind me sharing publicly)....

There are no words for what took place today...my short time with you and your wonderful children has forever left a mark on my life.  I don't know if you realize the peace, joy and life that radiates from each individual person and as a family unit...but it is CONTAGIOUS AND LIFE ALTERING!  When Halle and I returned to our car we just looked at each other and wept.  It was the perfect way to wrap up our conversation on the way over.  It was obvious that happiness does not lie in the circumstances of this earth, Lord knows you were dealt some difficulty, but in the Person and Presence of Jesus Christ.  I am forever thankful for having the opportunity to make your first photograph of a new season of hope and healing.  You are a part of our life now as we will pray for you as you lead your family.  LOVE THE PIX!! 

Still makes me smile when I read this. I messaged her back telling her where that joy comes from...Jesus. I also shared with her that during one of the shots where I was loving my children I had a thought that I should be forever thankful for my "here & now," whatever that looks like, whether its a season of joy, or a season of wilderness. Little did Karen know I had just made a hard decision a week before that ended a very special relationship, for me and my children, but she was still able to see joy. My only explanation is Gods sweet sweet love. I'm extremely thankful that His love is apparent in me but I'm over-the-top thankful that it is revealed through my children's spirits as well. A sweet friend told me that she really didn't know Jake, but recently after a ball game she witnessed Jake, high fiving, chest pumping her teenage son and how she saw joy in him that night and how after all he's been through seeing it shine. After Karen posted the photos, I too, witnessed that joy in my babies not only in their sweet smiles but in their eyes as well. I'm with them all the time so i sometimes miss that. seeing this in them  makes this momma really really happy and overwhelmingly  proud of my 3. They have endured so much, so much that I wish I could take away from them. On the other hand, I'm so thankful that my 3 have experienced God the way that some adults never experience Him, and some never have the desire to. My 3 and myself get to experience His love everyday, He's guided us through one wilderness and looks as if He is holding out His hand to us once again to guide us again. Thankful that my 3 are walking it with me, experiencing His grace and seeing their mom depend on Him. They just Can't learn any of this in school, church, or by listening to others-instead they are learning it firsthand from the One that writes their story. I will continue to pray that Jake, Sam and Molly will always realize that their strength comes from God's joy and their joy from His strength.

Thank you Karen, for a sweet time, some awesome photos, for capturing special moments and helping me to realize to be happy in my here & now, to not get caught up in my circumstances but to stay caught up in HIM. 

Learning to Listen While Sitting on the Fence (and not the voices in my head) ;)

Listening is so not my thing-I admit I had a little trouble with listening in school, seems I was talking when I should have been listening. I also have to admit that I'm not a very good listener when it comes to listening to my kiddos.  I can't tell you the times I hear them saying, "mom, are you listening, did you hear me?" I hear that after I have finally noticed them either saying mom repeatedly or poking me in the arm. Then I may or may not wholeheartedly listen. Know that's awful to admit, I've often self-diagnosed myself with ADD. It's either that or I have an extreme ability to "tune" things out.

Side-note---saw an E-card that said---I know the voices aren't real, but sometimes what they say are very interesting. Love it!!

This blog is not really about my ability or inability to listen to things physically but more listening spiritually. I am currently in the midst of an awesome bible study with my Wednesday morning women. This is an awesome study and just love diving into it. Don't get me wrong ladies-I love my fellowship with you all, but I love jumping into Gods word so much more. I'm one of those that can and will pick up the bible and read it, chew on it, and can draw some wisdom and parallel to my life. However, there is nothing more I like better than being asked to read, dig, answer questions, and truly experience His word the way I do during a bible study. This one, One in a Million by Priscilla Shirer, is challenging me and making me think about so many things. The gist if this study is traveling with the Hebrew people out of Egypt to the promise land,  how God chose to lead them through the wilderness, their experiences in the wilderness, their experience at Sinai and how they heard from God. Can't wait to keep traveling along until they reach Canaan but for now-boy am I learning. Love studying the Old Testament and love knowing that I am guided, just like they were, through seasons of wilderness.  Yep, they experienced God during their days in the wilderness, they questioned Him on almost everything they experienced, but they were experiencing Him. When we first started this study I caught myself saying, " I am in a season of wilderness, thankful for being able to experience Him like never before, but please Lord don't let mine last for 40 years." Then my ADD kicked in and i started thinking oh no if it does last 40 years I'll be 80ish and  life will be over for me, Lord please have mercy on me. Then my attention quickly switches to trying to get out all I can during this season. I'm just going to be real honest and say I continually ask God why am I still in this? There's some things that continue to linger on as a result of Shane's passing that are yet to be resolved, nothing major, but would be so nice to have some closure. Then there is the ever present grief. I still deal with waves of grief and emotion that i thought would be better by now. Add in the grief and emotion and sadness my kids experience that I cant do anything about.  I continually ask what is God wanting me to learn-please spell it out so that I can start learning. Then I find myself in, yet, another situation of waiting and seeing, which way and where is life heading now. I sent an email to a sweet friend explaining  some things going on in my life and told her I was pretty much 'sitting on the fence' right now. There are decisions to be made with several aspects of life and in my wiseness that I've obtained over the past 20 something years I've learned that sitting on the fence is sometimes a very good thing.  Problem is while sitting on the fence I should be listening for guidance from the One who is the author of my life. Instead I listen to those voices in my head(couldn't resist), the noise of those around me, the what-ifs start happening and I find myself not listening and everything just get garbled up and confused. Oh how I wish I could have a visible fire and a cloud leading me in the way I should go.  In this weeks homework for bible study, we have been studying when/how the Hebrew people experienced God at Sinai. While reading and studying I was wishing that I could hear God as clear as they had. I thought about how it must have made them feel to be so in His presence, to realize at that given moment how they must have recounted all that He had done for them-Red Sea, bitter water at Marah to sweet water, no food to plenty- how everything that they had grumbled and complained about seemed so insignificant as they "heard Him." Thinking that not any amount of ADD or tuning out would have been happening at that moment. Then, as I have done throughout the study, realized that I am the people of Israel, I have experienced, still experiencing my own wilderness, and yes, I've done my fair share of complaining and yes if I will just listen I too can have a Sinai moment.

I will admit that I'm not a "sit on the fence" kind of person. I want to know what's in store, I don't like surprises, nor do I like to be still and listen. I want to move hastily forward, sometimes against His will. One of the best chapters of this study reminded me that these times of sitting on the fence are as important as the deep valley-oh heck experiences, to the mountaintop-God is great experiences. I just have to learn to accept the times of sitting, waiting, wondering on what He is doing, what He will have me to learn and remind myself that He has this-He is leading me to my Promise Land. It may not be the way I would have chose, the route that's easiest, prettiest-but it's His journey-I'm just traveling it to get to Him. In the meantime, I'm learning to listen and always expectant of my Sinai experience.

1 Corinthians 2:9

Lately, I have to admit, I've been grumbling complaining about life. Sick of school, homework, baseball, dance, cooking supper, laundry, this season in my life-the list is endless. I have to share how God gets and keeps my attention. Yesterday, I was complaining about an afternoon that contained, yet, another ball game, more homework. I was at the game, with my mind everywhere else when my dad said,"DeAnn, look at that little guy that's batting name." I pulled myself away from my conversation to look up and see his sweet little name on the back of his Model Blue Devils jersey. The reason my dad noticed it was because its not your ordinary last name-its mostly associated with eating fish;) Little did my dad know when pointing him out that this name means something to me, you see-I know this child's mom. I started scanning our opponents stands to see if I could see her, disappointed I didn't see her. I went on to finish my conversation-probably complaint, looked up again, and there she was. She was recognizable sitting on the bottom bleacher, cane in hand, dark glasses on. I explained to my mom that I HAD to speak to her. Molly insisted on being stuck to my hip and wanting to go, but I insisted she stay behind, I needed no distractions. I was hesitant about going over at first, wasn't sure how I was going to communicate with her--understand that my friend is both deaf AND blind now.

 When I first met her, at my first speaking engagement the August after Shane's passing, I was surprised to find out that she was deaf. She never signed while speaking to me, I would have never known it until she shared that she was a non-hearing woman. When I met her, I couldn't explain the instant bond I had with her. She was so comfortable with herself, she exudes her love of Christ and she's not afraid to show it. This woman is the epitome of letting your "light shine!" The next day I finally saw her sign one of my favorite songs as part of the program-touched beyond words. The woman can not hear but she keeps up with the music by "feeling" the beat. I remember vividly, being extremely nervous and anxious about sharing my story for the first time and how this woman I had never met before prayed with me, for me and after our first meeting she didn't stop praying for me and my 3. After that weekend, we communicated through text. Out of the blue I'd receive a text from her telling me that  GOd had placed me and my 3 heavy on her heart and that she was praying for me. The thing she wasn't aware of is that EVERY time I relieved one of her text telling me I was heavy on her heart was the very moment I was struggling, hurting, some of my darkest times. I often I wondered how in the world she would know-was it coincidence? I've said before, when it comes to all things to do with God, there's no coincidences. She was able to meet my children at the Toby Mac concert. She had her sweet daughter there as well. JSM were all surprised after she walked off and I told them she could not hear. Questions started about how can she talk to us-I explained that she could hear up until she was about 18 or 19 and she lost her hearing then. She was able to read lips and articulate her words because of the many years of hearing. They were amazed as much as me. We continued to text until I received the unbelievable news that she was in the beginning stages of losing her eyesight. What?????? Seriously? The one way she communicates with her children, others, her students, me? And she's losing that sense too?? God, really? Selfishly, I was thinking how am I suppose to communicate with her if she is no longer able to read my text messages, how is going to send me her sweet reminders of her prayers and of Gods love for me if she can't see to text? My questions for God were endless? I was angry knowing that she was a faithful servant for Him, that she loved Him, was constantly speaking of His goodness even while she had been robbed of her sense to hear her children speak to her, to hear wonderful praise music, to hear the birds I. The morning-and now to be robbed of seeing all of Gods creation? Prayers went up, but communication stopped. Luckily, a few ladies min my bible study group know her so I've been able to keep up with her. Ironically, as soon has she lost her sight she was speaking at a local church, yet again, telling her amazing story and that story being filled with Gods grace, goodness and love for her-even still. 

Fast forward to yesterday. I got over myself land made my way over to her. Her sweet friend/interpreter was sitting behind her and I softly said her name. Her friend touched her back and she jumped up and we embraced. That embraced covered many days of not being able to communicate, many days of prayers, and kindred spirits. You see, different kinds of losses but 2 women that can see Gods goodness in it all. Also, very different spirits-mine of complaining and whining of singlemomness, too much too do, why me's. Her? She could have complained of what she misses instead she was telling me of the good. With the help of her interpreter signing in her hand so she can "feel" what's being signed or by me writing words in her hand we were able to catch up.  She said, "DeAnn, I may not see or hear but I can feel, I feel others and I feel things that others can't. God has given me that ability." She went on to say that Jeremiah 49:11 is her verse-He has plans for her, she doesn't know what they are , but they are his plans. Of course, in her selfless manner, she asked how I was, about my children. I told her all was well and told her that my new life verse is found in Isaiah 43-(a whole different blog subject) and how the MEssage translation says that He loves me so much that He would sell His creation for me and that He would trade the world for me. I told her he felt the same about her as well. she replied with a wow! I'm not telling her anything she doesn't already know way down deep. She did say she would choose to be able to see her son play ball but that wasn't in Gods plan right now. I tried to comfort her by saying at least she was there cheering him on, all the while thinking of my complaints of having to be there. We had so much to say but I felt bad for the interpreter, we both were talking 90 to nothing. She told me not to rush off that she wanted to see-meaning she wanted to touch my kiddos. We saw her afterwards and she touched all 3 of their heads and arms to feel their hair, how tall they were, their skin. While she is touching them, the whole time I'm thinking that my children have no idea who is touching them, literally the hand of God. I know in my spirit that God is touching so many lives though this brave woman that continues to be a mother, wife, teacher. Yes, she continues to work with self-contained children and she said she was simply amazed at how they respond to her. I seem to think that these kids she works with every day, are simply amazed by her-I know I am. 

So amidst all the grumbling and complaining of everyday life that I find myself doing more often than not-God sends me a sweet reminder-a rainbow of sorts-only this time the rainbow is a sweet deaf and blind friend. She told me she missed reading my blog that she wanted to find a way to get back to it, I hope this one is the first one she gets to. I know she probably has her complaining days, however, I truly believe she has more praising days than complaining. She chooses to see, hear, feel how deep the Fathers love is for her. I want to be just like her. Love you and continue to pray for you and your sweet family DT!

What were they thinking???

I've noticed myself, as well as countless others, asking, "what was he/she thinking?" I've asked it about politicians, famous people, my own children, and some that are very close to me and some not so close to me. Seems in conversation the person I'm speaking with will sometimes beat me to it---"what was he/she thinking?" While we are all curious creatures, me included, choices belong to individuals. We can ask "what were they thinking" all day long and in to the night,  but we may never know why people make the choices they do. in saying this I know people in my life have questioned some of my choices. Thinking my 3 ask themselves that everyday when they think I am being overly motherly. I've recently had to explain to them, that as their mom I will always try and make the best choices for me that involve them. They may not see it at the time but hopefully, always in the long-run, they will look back and know I always had them at the forefront of my mind when making choices about mine  or their lives. Either way, I own those choices and decisions-good or bad. I also know that truly the only One I have to answer to for any of my choices is my Father. He's the only One that counts, the only one that truly knows why I choose the things I choose,  good or bad. While I will always care what others think of me-others will not be standing with me when I am waiting-for my King to judge me.

I think about some circumstances that are currently happening around me and I have to point out that we all fall short. Last I checked, we are all still sinners-big ones, small ones-sins-that is. Pretty sure that not telling the truth, disobeying parents, adultery, saying "God" in vain, and all other sins are still sins. Guess I'm saying that maybe we all should not be throwing the first stone. A wise, bald-headed accountant use to tell me-"DeeDeeBo-we all are just a choice away from messing up." unfortunately, some peoples choices or mistakes are in wide-open spaces for everyone to see. Oh how quick we are to throw stones i.e-pass judgment, gossip, turn our backs. When instead, we should follow the One that the Pharisees would question by saying-how could He keep company with that dreadful woman who is an adulteress, or the woman that has bled for 12 years, how could He could drink water from the well that "that" woman drinks out of? How could He let that tax collector sit with Him for dinner, or let him follow him? I could hear them now in their most righteous tone..."What was/is He thinking?" Maybe, just maybe, we should be more like Him and reach out to those that haven't made the best choices, maybe we should accept that with a blink of an eye, in a moments time-we could be in  that persons shoes we are questioning or judging. Guess I'm trying to figure out why their "sin" is so much worse than mine. I'm fairly sure that God keeps it all real and keeps it all on a pretty even playing field---sin is sin-big or little. This blog is a reminder to me,as much as anyone, to not be so quick to judge-instead-i need to pray for that person instead of asking-"what was he/she thinking." I need to check myself-before throwing that stone. In doing so-I will realize (I pray) that I'm just as sinful as the murderer, the adulterer, bank robber-I'm as lousy as the next guy-even if I carelessly spout out in my most 'righteous' -"what was he/she thinking,"with the "oh I'd never do that" undertones. We ALL are sinners and we all are just one choice away from messing up. I believe, actually, I know-that my God believes in do-overs. Let's let Him be the One to ask, when the time is right-"Precious one, what were you thinking? You, know righteous child of mine-you don't have to answer that-because I already know-I also know that as soon as you knew you had made a bad choice you turned to Me and asked for forgiveness, and while others didn't or couldn't forgive you-I did. I forgave you when I let them nail My Son to the cross-I knew the choice you would make and I thought of it and you when they placed that first nail in His hand. I also know those that questioned you, and my dear one-I know all of their bad choices as well. Let's put it all behind us-and let Me tell you 'what I AM thinking....GRACE." Can't you just hear Him saying those sweet words. So the next time we ask "what were they thinking?" or before we cast that first stone think instead of what HE was thinking and what He cast upon us...pure and simple GRACE.